Thankful!

Yesterday, before I took a major leap of faith and released something near and dear to me into the universe, I said a prayer. While I am a pretty transparent person, I rarely share my prayer life with the world. I will not lie, discussing my prayer life openly makes me feel a little hokie! […]

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Men Just Aren’t Ready For Your Feelings

men-ready-feelings

In a lot of cases men wouldn’t ever get married if we could get away with it.  If a woman would allow that. We’d keep it simple, and you’d be a companion vs a wife. Or, someone we occasionally spent time with.

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PIECES OF ME

I am excited to announce that my book, PIECES OF ME, is now available! PIECES OF ME is a compilation of raw and transparent pieces about my life as a southern woman, southern mom, and southern lawyer!  PIECES OF ME is a glimpse into the “perfectly imperfect” world that I have created through healing, evolution, […]

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Tonza D. Ruffin

I am a single mother, daughter, and attorney living in Bertie County, a small town in Eastern North Carolina. Growing up I moved back and forth between the Bronx and Bertie County,  so my personality is a little bit city and a little bit country (although I prefer the term southern). After being back in […]

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The “F” Word

Apparently I did not get the 2019 single woman’s memo, the “F” word is never to be raised, or discussed, until you have been dating/seeing someone for a solid 6 months, year, 2 years…maybe NEVER. Up until his visceral rejection of my revelation, I thought we were kind of feeling each other despite the fact […]

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It’s Not Jordyn’s Fault

So, I have been tuned in very little to this whole Jordyn Woods/Tristan/Khloe Kardashian saga. It just wasn’t something that caught my interest until I watched this young girls’ interview on Red Table Talk. As I watched, I cried tears for this 21-year-old. Her life has been turned upside down by a split-second decision to […]

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Submissive Boss Chick

If someone asked me to describe myself in 3 words or less I would say “submissive boss chick”. I know, I know…a bit of an oxymoron huh? But wait, let me explain before you start judging and trying to snatch my super woman cape. I am willing to bet there are other women out there […]

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What Tonza Wants

I recently read an interesting article about what men in my age group are attracted to. I thought this article did a wonderful job of providing some insight into the mind of a mature man seeking companionship. It also led to some introspection on my part…What do I want? After careful consideration, while blasting Ella […]

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A Call to Action – support KIPP ENC libraries

I need your help! In honor of Black History Month I need for you to purchase a copy of my book PIECES OF ME! $2.50 from your purchase will be donated to KIPP ENC libraries. KIPP ENC is dedicated to a quality education for ALL children, regardless of zip code or socioeconomic class. As a […]

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Man POWER Monday – Cy A. Grant Sr. has “judicial” swag

It’s Man POWER Monday! And…It’s BLACK HISTORY MONTH! I couldn’t imagine kicking off this month without featuring none other than the First African-American Resident Superior Court Judge in the State of North Carolina, The Honorable Cy A. Grant Sr. Cy A. Grant Sr. a.k.a. Judge Grant is my Man POWER Monday pick because he has “judicial” […]

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Miami! Miami!

Miami will definitely be seeing me again and again! What a great vibe! The most difficult part of planning this trip was deciding where to stay. I was initially determined to try to recreate my Airbnb Atlanta experience but had no luck finding an affordable, beautiful space such as the one I stayed at in […]

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