He Made Me Do It (why I broke up with social media)

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For the past couple of months I walked away from my social media accounts. Honestly, my initial decision to walk away did not seem to be prompted by some strong desire to regroup and reflect. In fact, I felt forced to walk away. So, for a couple of weeks after I deactivated my Facebook and Instagram accounts I was angry and bitter. I began to question my true growth as a woman and all of the feminist ideals I claimed to embrace. How could I encourage women to “do you” when I had compromised, or so I thought, by walking away from something that was important to me? Once I moved past my anger and blame I began to really ponder the decision I had made to walk away. What I realized was that I was using his concerns as an excuse for me to take a much needed break. In a good place and able to delve a little deeper into my feelings, I concluded that I was addicted to social media and I had become tired of the grip that it held on me. With that realization and acceptance, I comfortably fell into my existence sans social media.

Please don’t tell him 🙂, but, honestly, my life sans social media, has been much richer. I now have time to focus on things that I truly missed but never seemed to be able to find time to do when my focus was on becoming the next social media sensation. I have spent afternoons curled up in the bed, catching up on books that I have been meaning to read so that I could immerse myself in a world that someone else has created.  I have found time to work on projects in my home so that me and my children could have a cozy atmosphere to rest and regroup from the challenges that we faced in the world on a daily basis. When I am out and about, I am able to take in and appreciate my surroundings much more since I am in the moment and not focused on capturing the moment.  Because I am no longer looking for excuses to take a break and check my statuses, my focus is much better.  But, I must say, the biggest gift of my break up with social media is that I am present and in the moment with the people that are near and dear to me. Quality time no longer includes sitting on the couch checking my “likes” and “comments” with the television on as everyone talks around me. I listen and I am engaged even though they drive me completely “bonkers” sometimes.

Of course I struggle with the thought of SouthernMomJD losing relevance now that I am not constantly pushing it.  The reality is social media is very much a part of how our society communicates. With that in mind I have begun to try to figure out how to strike a balance.  Until I find that balance, I find comfort in the fact that the gift of time also allows me to spend time writing, the thing that truly brings me joy.  If I continue to write and people continue enjoying what I write, SouthernmomJD will be okay.

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18 thoughts on “He Made Me Do It (why I broke up with social media)

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  1. Thank you Southern Mom. I have removed myself from social media also. It’s been over 6 months. I really really thank you should consider writing a book. You are a very good writer. I enjoy your every post. Thank you once again for another excellent and thought provoking topic.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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  2. I agree with Gregory that you should think about writing a book. You certainly have a set for expressing yourself. I also agree with your thoughts about social media. It is so easy to allow it, instead of life, to guide you in a direction. I think we’re all guilty of checking Facebook, messages or other sources probably more than we need too. We could always blame it on our children for paving the way to this life style. 😀

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  3. Tonza, what a wise and smart decision you’ve made. Embrace your now. Your content is relevant, inspiring and REAL! While marketing is key, you don’t have to push. Like our favorite magazine we can’t wait to receive, your blog is that for many of us. Continue writing and we will continue reading.
    Blessings,
    Jenita

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  4. I’m glad to see southern mom Jd resurrected. Let’s keep the insightful positive thought provoking blogs coming so that your readers can continue to feed their hunger for all that you have to offer

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  5. It is sooo good to have you back online!!! I look forward to your Blogs!!! You are an amazing writer and I love the subjects that you choose to share. I too went off grid as far as social media is concerned. My choice was slightly different from yours but I did get the same sense of relief and reconnecting with myself. My original goal for my social media accounts were to connect with people on the same weight loss journey as I was at the time. BUT this quickly turned me into a gym junkie. This would not have been so bad but I began to body shame myself and no matter how healthy I was at that time, my weight and body insecurities grew more and more!! Turning to social media to guide me on how I should look and feel began to drive me into depression. So I disconnected and started to invest in my health for me and not for how social media comments said I should look. Yes T the addiction is real and being able to get away is a great relief! You have a platform with this blog that is so pure and honest and I I have ever been able to connect on this level with any past social media outlets. Thanks for doing what you do and sharing as much as you do!! Love you!!

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  6. I realize that you ” had to do what you had to do,” but I have been missing you terribly! I have even tried to do a search to find you a few times. I am relieved to know, however, that your break up with social media, is working out for you.It means different things to different people, to say the least.

    I only have a FB account, and it is my social outlet for the most part. I read and study all the time, so this is how I break the monotony. Television, movies, etc, have never appealed to me. I only keep Directv going for the purpose of weather updates.

    Doors have begun to open for me, that I’m sure, will force me to reduce the time I spend on FB. Then again, I’ll be doing exactly what it is, that I was born to do- share the gospel through teaching! Hope to see you around some time! Godspeed,

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A few months ago, I realized that you were no longer posting on FB,😈 and wondered what happened. I enjoyed your Posts and your Blogs. However, I do understand your decisions. Please continue to write and share those interesting Blogs though; as they are true inspirations to me and others.💕 Be Blessed & Keep Reading and Writing.📚

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