Tonza D. Ruffin

I am a single mother, daughter, and attorney living in Bertie County, a small town in Eastern North Carolina. Growing up I moved back and forth between the Bronx and Bertie County,  so my personality is a little bit city and a little bit country (although I prefer the term southern). After being back in […]

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I Represent Killer’s That The Village Has Failed

I represent people that kill people. Some of the killers that I represent have not even reached the age of twenty. They are children. People constantly ask me,  “how could you represent people like that?” My question is, “how could I not?” By the time a killer has been placed in my care, the fact […]

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Mommy vs. Feminist/Activist

For those of you that did not get to read it, I decided to share my last column in the Bertie-Ledger. Let me know your thoughts! A couple of years ago I selfishly refused to understand a mother’s view when she explained that she had little concern for her African-American son making a statement when […]

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I Am Auggie

My youngest daughter and I have been reading the book Wonder by R.J. Palacio. Wonder is about a ten-year old boy whose nickname is Auggie. As a result of a facial deformity he was born with, Auggie struggles with going to school and making friends. This morning as we were reading, I was overcome with […]

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My Families “Bucket List”

As I shared in “The Big Panty Crew” Bucket List, I love to read people’s bucket list. So, since I decided to share my friend’s bucket list, I definitely wanted to share my families. So, here we go☺️☺️: My mother’s bucket list: Own a small condo in NYC a moving company to help me move some […]

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Pull Your Da%# Pants Up… Please!!

A couple of weeks ago I sat in the car and just stared at a young man that was helping another young man clean his car out. He caught my attention because he looked so ridiculous struggling to keep his pants up as he moved from the front to the back of the car. I […]

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Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child – I don’t think so

In my post Bad Moms Unite! – Why does school start at 8am? ,I confessed that I have resorted to spanking my children in the past. Most of the time when I do this I feel a tremendous sense of guilt because I feel spanking is more about me and not really about correcting behavior in my […]

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Bad Moms Unite! – Why does school start at 8am?

Can someone please tell me who came up with the bright idea of kids being in school at 8am? Actually, I really don’t need that information. I need to know how I can change the time from 8am to 9-9:30am, maybe even 10am. Why? Because I have a little girl that drives me “bat$h*t crazy” […]

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I Am Enough

Every day as I get ready for work I see the words “I am enough”. I had this phrase inscribed on my body almost two years ago, during my period of transition.  At the time that I decided to make this phrase a permanent part of my life I really didn’t believe that I was […]

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Alpha Omega – On Father’s Day

My parent’s divorced when I was 10. Following their divorce my brother and I lived with our mother. My mother never got over the pain inflicted upon her at my father’s hands and my father never figured out how to be a daddy to his children once he and my mom went their separate ways. […]

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