President of the "Bitter Bitches" Club

I recently learned that I had been bestowed the honor of serving as President of the “Bitter Bitches” Club. Ironically the person that had taken on the responsibility of looking for the perfect candidate never bothered to let me know that I was being considered for such a prestigious position. Therefore it should come as no surprise when I tell you that he never bothered to even grant me an opportunity to interview. Needless to say, I was completely “taken aback” when I received the news that I had actually been called upon to serve as the “Bitter Bitches” President.

I must say, I also found it a little odd that the recruiter was a male but decided I was not going to let that deter me. As with any new opportunity, I accepted and embraced my position, and decided, despite the red flags during the selection process, I was not going to disappoint the members.

Of course, the recruiter did not provide me with a manual, or any guidelines, that would assist me as I took on the task of being President of the “Bitter Bitches” Club. I was simply told, “you are the epitome of a bitter bitch so I trust that you will do this job very well”.

I decided during my tenure as President my primary focus would be recruitment. After all, a club must have an active membership in order to thrive. I also decided that my recruitment efforts would be centered around finding quality members. It was my belief that the “Bitter Bitches” Club would be better served if we were selective and only sought out dedicated, hard working, women.

I knew, in order to accomplish my goal of recruiting dedicated, active members, I would have to deliver a clear message as to why one should consider it an honor to be in the “Bitter Bitches” Club. So, I looked into my past, did some soul searching, and tried to narrow down the reasons the recruiter found me to be the “epitome of a bitter bitch”. Within minutes I was able to develop a wonderful list of reasons membership in this exclusive organization would be so appealing.

I have decided to share the list I compiled with you. If you feel you meet the qualifications, and, you are interested in joining us, please consider applying. Please note that, while you must be a woman in order to be a member of this exclusive club, I have created a committee known as The Supporters. This committee is exclusively for men who are aligned with the goals and mission of the “Bitter Bitches” Club. Men that intimidate easily need not apply.

I look forward to hearing from you!

THE “BITTER BITCHES” LIST:

“Bitter Bitches” empower and uplift women so that they never feel isolated and alone. We no longer want women to feel like they are living life in a vacuum. We recognize that such a feeling leads to one making decisions that are not necessarily in her best interest. Simply put, our club is a supportive and safe place for vulnerability to be exhibited.

“Bitter Bitches” do not fear being alone. While it is not our goal to go through life without love and companionship, we are capable of doing so if necessary. This frees our mind from the stress of settling for someone who has not earned the right to be in our life in a meaningful way.

“Bitter Bitches” actively participate in the selection process when it comes to companionship and love. We acknowledge our part in thwarting the process of finding compatible companions. For too long we focused our energy on the art of being chosen. As a result, we have done very little to develop our skills in the area of choosing. We have come to understand the importance of playing an active role when it comes to matters of the heart. Though we are still flattered to be chosen, we can no longer guarantee, after we complete our own assessment, you will be chosen. Love is a serious matter that we all must actively participate in.

“Bitter Bitches” make self-love a priority. We recognize that self-love is of the utmost importance. Without self-love women are not capable of performing at our maximum level of potential. In light of all that we are trying to accomplish during our time here on this earth maximum performance is essential. Not to mention, we recognize self-love is essential to our ability to properly love and support the person that treats us like the Queens we deserve to be treated like. We cherish our Kings and want to make sure they know it.

SO, I WANT TO SAY SORRY TO THAT MAN who gave me the title “PRESIDENT OF THE BITTER BITCHES”. He probably thought I would be offended. I am most appreciative for this opportunity.

OH, I FORGOT TO MENTION…The second item on my list of priorities as President of this exclusive club is to change the name from “Bitter Bitches” to “Empowered Women”. That is so much more in line with our mission.

Looking forward to hearing from all of you potential members!

Much Love,

Tonza

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southern woman, southern mom, and southern lawyer!

4 thoughts on “President of the "Bitter Bitches" Club

  1. As I read your Post, I was a taken back by the name……. There is POWER in thy words…… So when I finished reading your Post (like when I force myself to watch Fox News) I was relieved of your first duty of changing the club’s name to “Empowering Women” which, in my opinion, has more Power in it’s image…. Now recruiting will have a more Powerful Image! Good job Councilor!!!

  2. Thank you for being such a straight shooter! Your wisdom and insight is impeccable! Hahaha it’s obviously he didn’t know who you was and who raised you! It’s brilliant how you turned what could have been an opposition into an opportunity! It’s always good to keep a long trick up a short sleeve 🤔! You never dissapoint!

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